We are one, all descendants from Adam and Eve and their descendants, down through the centuries. We are more alike than we sometimes want to admit.
We generally have that feeling that we are better (not a good thing because we are quickly told in the Bible that we are to regard others higher than ourselves).
We generally want the best for ourselves (but the Bible tells us that it is more blessed to give rather than to receive);
We think our kids are the prettiest, strongest, smartest kids there could be (but again we are to remember that we are not to feel that way in an ‘I am better than you’ mode).
It is good to be appreciative of who we are, our family, and what we have been able to accomplish, but we should do this with the right attitude, recognizing that others (with God’s blessing) have helped us to gain this place. Our parents, family, friends, teachers, mentors and all who have been and are a part of our lives have carried us to this place.
Mr. Ma’at made the statement that I was to share with you “What Makes me Me?”
May I start with telling you what I am not?
I am not at all perfect, I am not rich, I am not one with high intelligence, I certainly am not pretty but:
I AM WHO I AM and I am really thankful to be this person. I believe it has been well established that we are a sum total of all those we have met and the experiences that we have had. Some part of it will become a part of our personality.
I grew up “in the country”, close to where I now live. Our household included several different family groups; our immediate family (Daddy and Mother, my sister and I), then my granddaddy, his wife and his son, his daughter and son by a former marriage, his elderly sister, and my mother’s semi-invalid brother. It was wild but it was funny. From this we all learned to respect our elders, to work together, to have a good attitude, to move ahead and be very patient. (We had only one bathroom for the 11 people living there during the hot dry summer when we had four Texas families at home with us, plus 2 to 3 children each, and we didn’t have enough water for baths. We young folks used the excuse of going to Coalfire Creek to swim and this substituted for our bath).
I must share with you one type of difficulty that we encountered. With all these people living there, bedrooms were scarce and my granddaddy and his wife (who was also my mother’s sister and therefore my aunt) had their bed in the dining room. When my husband Bobby and I were dating and I would come in, of course I wanted to go to the kitchen and get something to eat and drink. To do that, I had to go through the dining room – remember Granddaddy was in there and not too kind when someone interrupted his sleep (after all he had gone to bed at 6 pm and was in a deep sleep by this time). We learned to sidestep this chastisement by going through our mother and daddy’s room, climbing through the windows to the back porch and then on to the kitchen.
I tell you this because a lot of this carried over into my adult life – respect, patience, working together, good attitude and being thankful for family.
Daddy didn’t have any sons so he allowed my sister and me to go hunting with him, to play baseball with his county team, to do many of the things that sons would have done. I had the privilege of being the scorekeeper for the ball team and traveling some with Daddy and the team as they played ball. One thing I enjoyed doing was helping the incoming pitcher to warm up. I had my own glove and I was right there with them. I credit this ease of relationships in those years with the fact that I have never felt discriminated against because I was a girl and now a woman. I felt confidence both with boys as well as with girls.
My invitation to speak today was a result of a remark that I made at the Community Relations Board meeting that the FCCLA (the Family, Career, and Community Leaders of America) was formerly the Future Homemakers of America that I was the President of the Alabama group in 1956. My Home Economics Teacher Thrath Curry helped me to prepare to run for this state office. She arranged for me to have as a speech teacher a lady from Aliceville, Cherokee Parker, who had been on the stage in New York City.
Preparing to run for this office, going to the national convention, presiding at state meetings and speaking in many places and before many different people was all some experience for this country girl. One of the main things I brought away from that is that I needed to be more outgoing – introduce myself to people – find out something about them and get to know them. This has stood me in very good stead for now over 59 years.
From there to the University of Alabama where I must admit that I didn’t take advantage of opportunities offered to me. I knew personally by way of the FHA the Dean of the School of Home Economics, Dr. E. Neige Toddhunter, and that would have been very much help to me if I had stayed with my education. I did learn a lot there but one of the most important things came from my student job and not in the classroom. I worked as a secretary to Dr. Joseph Rowland, Professor of Family Life and Child Development Department. When he found that I was leaving to get married, he gave me this piece of advice that I carry with me today. He said that as long as we live, we continue to grow; to remember that in my marriage that we each would grow and it was important that we grow together and not apart. Many times over the years I have taken stock of our 58 years of marriage and realized we needed to pull back together again with some of our interests. We are very different in personalities – maybe that old saying – opposites attract – is true but to have a good marriage there must be mutual interests also.
I loved the University and all that went with it; I loved to study but I loved Bobby – my boyfriend then and my husband now of 58 years and counting. We were separated with his being in the Air Force in Texas. So the University and study became second to me.
After our marriage we lived in Abilene, Texas – West Texas. I worked at the large regional medical center of West Texas, Hendrick Memorial Hospital, beginning in the credit department and ending that time as the personal secretary to the Assistant Administrator who actually ran the hospital. This time working at the hospital taught me much compassion for families in need and also much composure. There was one occasion when I had to tell the family the sad news that their loved one had died. I learned over the telephone to prepare the family for a serious condition but not to take away the hope they needed to get to the hospital.
Where have I been? Back then I was active in organizing.
At the hospital I organized a group of all the office personnel in what we called the Education and Entertainment Group. We learned about the many functions of our hospital and we celebrated on special occasions with our families. Always studying and encouraging others to study and be well aware of what was around us.
Back to Alabama in 1959, when my husband left the service and with a three-month-old son, I stayed at home for several years with our son and daughter born two years later. We lived in Tuscaloosa and then in Moundville. In Moundville we belonged to the Moundville Methodist Church and I was active in their women’s groups. Also, while in Moundville, I was introduced to the Alabama Federation of Women’s Clubs and began work that would be an active part of my life for the next twenty years.
When we came back to Pickens County, I worked with a CPA, then joined a law group with such special men as John Curry, Buddy Kirk, Robert Hugh Kirksey (formerly Probate Judge), and more recently with Tim McCool for over 40 years. I gained from these years a more serious attention to compassion and encouragement as I worked in this law office, serving people who had lost loved ones and also another more devastating loss in divorce. Another important thing that I gained from my law office work was the importance of WORDS, to be careful in what is said, knowing that we carry a huge responsibility for our words.
In addition to my work at the law office, I was also Director of Junior Clubs throughout Alabama in the Alabama Federation of Women’s Clubs. These were young women, young mothers, and people who carried a large majority of the volunteer work done in Alabama in the federation. This was another wonderful opportunity for me as we attended conferences and conventions in Boston, San Francisco, several times in Washington, D. C. Following this term of two years, I was Conservation Chairman for Alabama Federation of Women’s Clubs and had the opportunity to do more conferences and be in New York and more cities. I also served at the same time as the 3rd Vice President of the Southeastern Region of the General Federal of Women’s Clubs – the group of clubs of all the states and territories.
During these years I had the opportunity to fly to and from conventions and that was a thrill for me. Airplanes have always created a great excitement for me. As I grew up during the summer time, I would stand in the field and watch the regular scheduled flight from Tuscaloosa to Columbus, MS, and wave as though they could really see me. Sometimes, I still do that if the mood strikes me.
Then came MISSIONS – and my heart was sold out. In the mid-1970s and shortly after, I began to feel that God had allowed my interests and training over the years to prepare me for mission work. Two of my high school classmates were now serving on the International Mission field and that heightened my interest. Although, I was not a candidate for career missions, I was able to do volunteer missions and this opportunity became a reality in 1985. That was my first of 15 trips to Brasil [Brazil] as a volunteer missionary and afterwards more trips here in the United States, to Michigan, Vermont, Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois, and local work in our association.
When my husband’s health began to fail, I knew it was not good for me to be gone to another country, and then to other states and then not to be away from my home at night. When I began to understand the opportunity for helping in your prison, it was an answer to prayer. I could work and still be within a few miles of home.
To me, being a volunteer at the prison is a call from God. I think God was preparing me over the years – as I learned and trained in other places and in different ways – even as I had experienced in my own family many of the HARDSHIPS AND PROBLEMS that our inmates have faced and do face today.
This makes me think of a statement that Lady Bird Johnson, wife of President Lyndon Johnson, said at a conference in Tuscaloosa, that; “We all have a responsibility” or as she put it “to pay rent for all the wonderful advantages that we have in our country”. I agree with what she said and I do believe that we should all work together for the good of all, because I know that work was instituted by God, Himself, when He placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden to keep it.
Many lessons I learned from my wonderful Mother and Daddy, but this is one lesson I think of most days. Because of the depression, Mother was unable to go to college even though she desired very much to have an education. So she was especially interested in knowing that my sister Julia and I were getting an education. Mother would always ask after school, “What did you learn today?” From this I began to seek to learn every day something new or different and, even now, I am conscious of that desire to learn.
I hope that something I have said will encourage you as you carry out the big work that you have and that, as we think of Families, Careers, and Community, we will strive to be the leaders of America.
TO SPEAK TO YOU TODAY – I WAS VERY HESITANT BUT FOUND THIS IN MY DAILY BIBLE READING THAT DAY.
Isaiah 50:4 says; “The Lord has given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary.” NKJV. The Living Bible says; “The Lord has given me His words of wisdom so that I may know what I should say to all these weary ones.”
We, from 100 GODLY Women AND FRIENDS and from THE PICKENS BAPTIST ASSSOCIATION want to be an encouragement for you. Thank you for allowing us this opportunity today to be with you.
God bless you and your families and your work.
Bonnie Gates Windle; August 2015